ever since the new girl joined the company for me to handover to her so that she can take over my position when i officially leave my position in january, i have been wanting to quit earlier lol. coz i know she is responsible, she is competent, but also because of these reasons, i dun want to be that irresponsible to leave early. o______o

i shall not complain further. i know i already am leading a blessed life with people who are always there to support me and hear me out, and i truly thank God for all that from the bottom of my heart. since some time ago, i know deep down that i have slowly became a very unwilling person to make new friends, to socialize and basically to move out of my comfort zones to expand my circle of friends. because of that, i slowly began to even start to fear crowds, more than the usual avoidance due to noise and jostling. through all these, i am glad that there is always a hand to lead me and friends talking to get my mind off all these.

recently began to join cg, something that i've been wanting to do for pretty long. its a beginning i guess, a very gradual change in me, to start to move out and meet new people. i have been protected and so well hidden that i thought i never need to move out, but there is a new idea in me, a new urge in me, that i know i need to get out to grow, to make the first move for my own personal growth and i yearn for that.

may the days ahead be fruitful!!!!!!!!!!!

bara-chan #37 is wilting beside me as i type. and i am reminded that all things will soon come to pass in physical forms, but as we constantly remind ourselves the beauty of the relationships that we deem important and want to continuously keep them important, then they will stay forever in their best state in our hearts. its not about self-delusion, its about keeping what you deem important as first priority always, and that will always serve as a reminder to work to keep it as it is or even better, and not let it wilt on its own and lament about it later.

relationships and emotions don't just stay rooted and never waver nor disappear just because it once rooted. i think i have reached the age to realise that human emotions are weak. and although that is totally unromantic and undreamy (and you know how much i hate that school of thinking) and i have yet to have any problems with that, i still do fear and panic at the thought of the unknown future. but i know i will put in my everything to keep things alive. its a daily thing, or even a as-long-as-i-have-free-time thing, thinking on how to contribute into keeping relationships alive, be it with God, my family, rim or friends, just because i choose to care, not just about their emotions towards me, but also keeping my emotions towards them alive. i may not have put much into action yet, but i am starting to keep this habit. and i thought writing it here will kind of always remind myself to keep this habit. kinda like peer pressure. in a good way.

i dunno what else to say. i am thinking so much that i wonder if i can sleep despite being awfully tired now.

Japanese polls always amuse me what with the weirdest themes they can come up with - best nose/hair/eyes/lash/eyebrow... and the list goes on. even though they rarely reflect actual truth, they are still pretty useful when it comes to seeing which are the artists that the public is most easily reminded of, which can be a pretty good indicator to how famous these artists are (note i didnt use popular; sometimes they are simply reminded for the wrong reasons)

i just saw a post that made my eyes go O________O.

check this out: Celebrities Who Would Probably Look Better Than Women If They Dressed As Women.



check that out, WaT members made it to the top 2 positions, but who next................................YAMAPI?!?



ぜんぜん解らない～～～

lets recap. pi's latest drama was Buzzer Beat, and he was a professional basketballer in the show. pi is going to release his latest single 'Loveless' and the only comment me (and many others) can conclude from the pv was HOT. pi always mention how much he loves meat and sea and hawaii and summer. pi is the leader of NEWS and its been years since his pre-nobuta days, when he was still scrawny and skinny and basically girly. now? he is faaarrrr from that i believe.

and he is third.



why is tegoshi not in top 5? what were the voters thinking? *shakes head*

i do hope this is a good sign that he is very very very popular in japan that he makes it to top 3 even for non-relevant polls.

i was scrolling down my older entries and i was reminded of something.

the CLAMP ultimate all-characters manga series Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles has officially ended. it was a complete blur and twists (many of them) towards the end of the series that i must have reread the last 10 chapters at least 5 times. and finally, when i reach the last 2 chapters, it was entirely different from what i thought, what i expected, and what i wanted.

aint disclosing anything here but i was so sad and absolutely emotionally upset with the CLAMP authors. but yes, i have to admit, they have indeed successfully did their job as wonderful storywriters (or illustrators) to get the reader so emotionally involved with whatever went on in the story, and not to mention i do not think very highly of their artwork this time.

sighs.

i look forward to the next artwork from them despite all this. maybe deep inside, i hope for a different ending for them in another story.

---------------------------------------

back to a lil more fangirling before i go off to sleep for the night. here are the covers for pi's new singles. he looks sooo sad in them =(



limited edition A


limited edition B


normal edition

i can't decide which one i like the best, limited A or normal edition??? limited B is out, i can't have pi staring at me. O_O

long long long time since i wrote in this journal. so long that i dunno where to start and how to start. mmm.

work life hasn't been that great. a combination of alot of things has pretty much made me a bitter person at work, but despite all that, i am thankful for the experiences (i believe i handle stress better than ever now), for some of the colleagues (who are incredibly important to me as I struggle along with them), for the knowledge that i gained and for the fact that i really learn how to cherish my time better.

needless to say, i definitely do not mind more time to sleep, more time to relax and more time to do whatever i want. but with the same amount of limited time i have which i used to complain, i managed to cram in more things like planning out things that i want to learn next year (for tourism/music/language and research etc), more prayers, praise and bible-reading. i am especially glad that the latter few spiritually related things are slowly becoming more and more important in my life. its no longer something that is tough for me but the prioritising now comes naturally and willingly. and i believe that is a change from within, a change that is probably not by myself.

haven't been taking any photos recently. so here is one really outdated photo from the trip to m'sia with jorim and his family.



i'm about the same as then, prolly with longer hair now and slightly more pimples.

and now for some fan-girling. pi is going to release a solo single. now, words totally do not match my level of excitement. i am totally kyaa-ing all over in my mind~~~~

something like this :

and so here goes pi's new single mv. i am guessing its not the complete version coz it cuts off weirdly at the end, but that is e longest version i can find on youtube, so maybe its some irritating tactic pulled by johnny's. not to worry, coz i am having the single fly over from japan.

=D

now seriously, i am not going to comment on his singing skills. now when was pi exactly well known for singing well. and they certainly did not pick a simple song for him to sing; i think they just want to kill him in his solo concert (OH did i mention he is going to have a solo concert?!??!) nevertheless, i think he looks superbly hot in this mv (sorry neko, just let me fangirl a lil more! >_<). enjoy and may you all fall under the charm of pi~~~

its been quite some time since i last updated but no worries days are happy though tiring which amounted to me falling sick once again. weekends are incredibly precious to me now and i guess i appreciate them way more than before. its not about having to squeeze and pack lots of programmes and places to go with things to do in that 2 days but the fact that they are spent with the right people and with the right mind and attitude. i have spent the last 2 weekends with 2 hard to come by events - a wedding which is a huge family gathering other than chinese new year and a lovely class gathering.



my favourite photo of the night taken with my brother on the car!  i think its also one of the rare few photos that evening that was taken in natural lighting. i was complaining about not being able to watch national day parade that day but the evening turned out pretty fine. it is still a great night with blessings and good food and great wedding gowns/dresses to look at~





weddings are hard to come by in my family because we are just SO small as compared to the average asian families. this photo happily shows my closest cousins and cousins from the extended family, that are below 25. 1, 2, 3, 4.....11 (+1 weixuan)... i guess its a long wait to the next wedding!

as for the weekend that just passed, i thought it was going to be hard to enjoy with my neko stuck in camp. nevertheless i missed the phone calls and the long-waited meet on weekends but it was half the time more bearable with the class gathering on saturday that lasted from afternoon to late night.

attendance was bad and punctuality was low (actually, just me and charmian XD) but that does not mean the fun we had was low too! that was not the first gathering but we still had loads to tell, gossips to share and many other stuff that we did not know back in our CKPS day - and it was only with a 9 pax attendance! imagine the amount of information that could be shared if just half the class turned up??

bleah too tired to put up photos here. off to wait for phone call and snooze and hopefully recover by tomorrow~